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A Better Job by Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois

I strode hurriedly into the McDonalds

I normally don’t eat junk food

but I had only ten minutes for lunch


The boss was killing me

with his arbitrary demands 

and his bullying

I was job-scared

so I put up with everything he dished out


Thinking of that miserable cur

that miserable excuse for a human being

who was my boss

I yanked open the door

and hurried in

looking up at the unfamiliar menu

and didn’t see the puddle of vomit on the floor


My slick-soled dress shoe hit it

and I went into a slide

as if I were on ice

Amazingly I kept my feet

and was halfway across the room before I knew it


almost to where the man stood

holding the big, black automatic weapon

pointing it at the kids having a birthday party


all of which registered in my mind

in a split-second

Time was suspended at that point

and for the moments following


The gunman turned his head toward me

just as I reached him

Sliding on vomit is silent

I never made a conscious decision

but added the strength of my legs

to my momentum 


I smashed into him

and knocked him into

the big square garbage container

He hit his head and was knocked cold 


His weapon clattered to the floor

The birthday boy’s mother

rushed over and grabbed it

but I kept her from shooting

the madman who’d ruined her son’s third birthday


On TV they called me a hero

and interviewed me on talk shows

Nobody ever mentioned the vomit

No one seems to have noticed it


though some mother must have been aware

that her son or daughter had puked

probably out of fear


I never mentioned the vomit either

I did a good job feigning modesty

when I was called a “hero”


An admirer offered me a better job

and I took it


Author bio:

Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois has had over fourteen-hundred of his poems and fictions appear in literary magazines in the U.S. and abroad. He has been nominated for numerous prizes, and. was awarded the 2017 Booranga Writers’ Centre (Australia) Prize for Fiction. His novel, Two-Headed Dog, based on his work as a clinical psychologist in a state hospital, is available for Kindle and as a print edition. To read more of his work, Google Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois. He lives in Denver, Colorado, USA.


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